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The Elders of Recycling 0001 :
The Indestructible Oswald

Undoubtably one of the Elder Masters of Recycling, the Dark Audiomancer known as John Oswald is both assassin and saviour, both pop-puppetmaster and experimental-experimenter, both orange and banana. Known most for his daring assassination of uncontrollable occult-freak John Lennon (not to mention his cunning escape from conviction), Oswald also pioneered the now-standard Plunderphonic Techniques, was sued by the Canadian Recording Industry Association on behalf of “Michael Jackson”, and cooks a damn fine waffle.

The Disc of Doom

The first Plunderphonic Compact Disc was released in 1989, a full twenty years after Oswald and his “Mystery Labs” first began warping space and time with their Ceremonial Audiograms and their spice-powered Folding Devices. The CD was simply entitled Plunderphonics, and featured a female caucasian “Jackson” on the cover. Already the Notes of the Cosmic Jam were coalescing into a distinct Chord of Destiny; a Chord involving the harmonics of “Jackson”, “McCartney”, “Oswald”, and “the Ancient Ones”.

Exactly one thousand copies of the CD were released around Halloween. All Hallows Eve; the same day that the USA detonated the first Hydrogen Bomb in 1952; the same day that Houdini died in 1926; that same day that Zebra Crossings came into effect in England in 1951.
(The Mystery Labs claim to this day that it was “pure coincidence”.)

The CD was sent to “libraries, radiostations, the artists who had been electroquoted, and the press” (Oswald in Igma, Taking Sampling 50 Times Beyond the Expected, Musicworks Magazine, 1990); free of charge, referenced and cosmically-sound.

Immediately, the press made the connection; Oswald, the Beatles-slayer, releasing some of his own Dark Notes and Forbidden Beats. Oswald, cultural renegade and media assassin. Oswald, working against the Enochian-Corporate-Hive.

Working outside the Law, yet again.

The Bullets of Death

Last time, it had been the daring hit on Lennon on December the 8th, 1980, as the Motorcade had swung its final loop around Central Park. As the clock neared 11pm, Oswald had somehow fired precisely seven silver bullets into the air, and, for obvious miskatonic significance, psychically bent them 90 degrees into the body of Lennon.

Immediately, the Enochian Master-Machine had dispatched its Law Police, and Oswald had been arrested. But, almost as quickly, he was released due to “technicalities” and “strange evidence”.

The Enochian-Angel-Aliens and their Annunaki Overlords had lost him.

Now, twenty years later, they had him in their grasps again.

This time, said the interdimensional Annunaki Space Lizards from their orbiting Media Control Booths, he shall not escape.

The Lawsuit of Terror

Psychically-enslaved through his lower two Chakras, the President of the Canadian Recording Industry Association requested a copy of the CD. He telephoned Oswald and said:

“he was fairly sure he could detect actual samples of Michael Jackson himself... I pointed out to him that the piece was made entirely, 100%, from samples of Michael Jacksons song Bad and that this fact was clearly indicated...
He said he'd call me back.” (Oswald in Igma, 1990)

The trouble was, Oswald had been inadvertantly applying his Techniques to material that had been deliberately Encoded with MindControl Messages, some by the Enochians themselves, some by the Ancient Ones Beyond the Veil of Sleep. The Enochians knew this, and knew what Oswald may not yet have realised; that “Jackson” had implanted some of the most powerful Backmemes ever devised into his own music... music that Oswald was now decoding.

Whether deliberately or not, Oswald was freeing the metaviral submessages that had previously been “sleeping” in “Jackson”s music. Oswald had heard, recorded and even released something that “Jacksonthought no human would ever hear. He had “rearranged” dozens of other Mainstream Performers, too; who knows what other alien codices hed unravelled?

It was clear; Oswald must be stopped, and fast.

Several weeks later Oswald was told that, if he didn't cease and desist distribution of the CD by Christmas Eve, he'd be slowly tortured to death.

(Christmas Eve? The Canadian Recording Industry Association deny all knowledge of Seasonal Rituals and Biometric Beatmatching, insisting, like the Mystery Labs before them, that it was purely coincidence.)

The Mastertapes of Destruction

The Enochian-Angel-Aliens and their Annunaki Overlords knew that Oswald was no ordinary man, and feared that not only would he laugh at them as they slowly tortured him to death, but that the process might in fact make him stronger.

Instead, they decided to destroy all remaining copies of the CD, and the master tapes.

This they did, in February of 1990 (exactly the same year that Mark “David” Chapman, the man who had been eventually convicted of Lennon's murder ten years earlier, becomes eligible for parole. Again, we told it is pure coincidence.)

Modern art, brutally crushed by the Corporations.

In Oswalds own words, “the fact that the CRIA, CBS and the Jackson Corporation wanted to become the modern day equivalent of book burners seemed like an appropriate way to let them present themselves” (Oswald in Igma, 1990); destroyed, the album was “lost forever”.

The Clones of Destiny

Except, of course, that the Enochian Mind-Machine had forgotten about Oswalds skills in preternatural Digitalchemy and Post-analogue Cloning. For Oswald had ingeniously used Compact Discs for distributing his “art”, Discs which, when copied, provide an exact replica of the original.

Jackson” howled balefully at the moon and quickly bought himself another Ancient Egyptian Sarcophagus; the supradimensional Annunaki gnashed their teeth, and pulled at their scaly hair.

Oswald had foiled them yet again.

(Since the “Jackson” Incident, Oswald and his Mystery Labs have put out several CDs, at least one Best-Of Box-Set (which includes virtually all of the original Plunderphonics disc), several compositions for live performance, and most likely something else that we haven't heard of yet.

Oswald claims he has not assassinated anyone for a long time.)

interwebmegalink entry, june 2003