(The) Absuu

Aflexicon-Mnemonism

One of the misunderstood sciences that first appeared in the 1800’s, fuelled by the discovery of both Mnemonic Flexography and the powers of the Doppelmenscher.

Annunaki

“Mention the name Anunnaki to some people and deep within them something stirs; a memory of Earth and Mars - and often there is anger, fear, pain, and confusion about the Anunnaki. People seem to like to blame them for all of Earth's problems. Some people remember being part of their family, for better or worse. And yet others don't want to hear anything about them because it dredges up feelings they'd rather avoid or deny.

I even hear stories from people who think that the Anunnaki are vicious reptilians who have been battling for control over the Earth for the last half a million years, and they call all of the shots while we sit here like helpless pawns.”

So says Estelle Nora Harwit Amrani, world-famous channeller, sometime between 1999 and 2000; and, indeed, we have also heard these blood-chilling tales of Interdimensional Reptilian Action.  As far as we are concerned, if the Elohim are street punks with flick-knives, then the Annunaki are assassins shouldering rocket launchers.  If the Enochians are child-sacrificing nazi space-demons, it is only because the Annunaki like it that way.

Perhaps the tallest interdimensional reptiles on record, the Annunaki are cruel, cold, blood-hungry, ritualistic, and a lovely velvet green colour.  It is they who orchestrate the Elohim-Angels, and direct the Enochian-Greys; it is they who rig the American elections and control the world’s resources; it is they who keep Gloria Estefan pumping out album after album.  

Hailing from the chilly metazone of the Lower Fourth Dimension, the Annunaki are obsessed with bloodlines and regularity, and arrange all events to fall in precise schedules, and all positions of power to be held by those humyns most “reptilian” in genetic structure.  The dynasties of our planet (Murdochs, Packers, Windsors, Rockefellers, Bushs, etc) are Annunaki in genetic structure, according to some; others merely claim they are giving the Annunaki a lot of oral sex.  

Given the bestial nature of these Space-Lizards from Beyond Time, both theories are likely to be true.

One of the major aims of the InterWebMegaLink is to resist the Mind Control MegaCompanies of the Annunaki, break free of the rituals and precision of their Mesmeric Work Ethic, dislocate ourselves from their Subcutaneous Entertainment Hyperstructures, and Recycle their Media Clones into Remedia Meme-Mutants, and quickly.  Because, if we don’t...

Be scared.  Be really scared.

(The) Ancient Ones

Also known as the Outer Gods, the Things That Should Not Be, the Unimaginable No-Things, the Things Formerly Known As Gods, the Great Old Ones, and The Justified Ancients of Mu-Mu.  The Ancient Ones ruled the Times before the Elder Times, and “plan” to rule the Times Yet To Be.

Now “safely” trapped (or self-exiled?) in the impossible anti-realm known as the Non Ens, the Ancient Ones were once masters of all of the Lesser Planets, all of the Greater Planets, and perhaps even the Prime Mover (Peterson, Sullivan, Wallis (et al), 1988).  

Including such “beings” as Azathoth, Wuthoqquan's Bane, Lucy (and her skythrone of intelligent crystal “diamonds”), Yog-Sothoth, Ithaqua (the Wendigo), Hziulquoigm-nzhah, Cthulhu, Shub-Niggurath, Nyarlathotep (the Crawling Chaos), Hastur the Unnameable, Tsathoggua, and perhaps even the Lord of All Right, these wholly alien Masters had vast empires of pentagrammatically-designed cities (much like Washington DC and Canberra), ley-line autobahns, wormhole-subway systems, gravity-well-based sewerage systems, and crop-circle-dependent agriculture.   

Not only did the Ancient Ones rule perhaps more than a hundred galaxies for what was at the minimum a kazillion kazillion years, they were damn cool, too.  There is evidence suggesting that they actually created the Universe, belching it out accidentally during a routine karaoke get-together.  

Other equally compelling hypotheses imply that the Ancient Ones were the first to use the word “wicked” to mean the direct opposite.

One school of thought declares that the Ancient Ones are responsible for every single “mistake” the universe contains; similarly, there are several distinguished scholars who claim that the Ancient Ones are responsible for all mutations, the effects of all mind-altering substances, the meme and the virus, all cancers, all traffic accidents, all terrorism, all global catastrophes, and the more inspired moments of the Grateful Dead.

(All of which, of course, is only partially true.  Indeed, it is almost misleading.)

After several gazillion years had passed, the reign of the Ancient Ones was over.  How did this happen?  Did they mean to end up in the Non Ens, or was it one of Nyarthalotep’s practical jokes gone a little too far?  Was it something Azathoth did?  Was it a case of leaving a sinking ship?  Or of sabotaging the ship and making a quick getaway?   Or maybe, just maybe, they left the Universe as bait, for some unsuspecting lifeform to evolve in, develop, and, like a bunch of idiots, assume they could do what they liked?

If this is the case, and the Universe is merely bait dangling from the line of the Ancient Ones, we can only hope that our “gutting” is quick, and that they don’t plan to “boil us alive”...

"The Old Ones were - the Old Ones are - and the Old Ones shall be. Not in the spaces we know - but between them - they walk serene and primal - undimensioned and to us unseen.”

H P Lovecraft

Aquathi (the Bendigo)

see ‘the Wendigo’

Audiomancer

Azathoth

A creature older than the Beatles, bigger than Jesus, and twice as phat as Shiva, the “creature” known as Azathoth is one of (perhaps all of?) the Ancient Ones who seeth Beyond the Universe. According to Peterson, Sullivan, and Wallis (et al), some advanced preternaturalists suggest “that Azathoth precipitated our universe” (A Field Observer’s Handbook of Preternatural Entities; Peterson, Sullivan, Wallis (et al); Chaosium, 1988).

Occasionally accidentally summoned to earth by advanced students of hyper-dimensional geometry, “concrete” metaphysicians and extreme sound-collagers, Azathoth is sometimes known as Astaroth, although there is now fierce debate as to whether or not they are in fact totally different entities with the same general “vibe”.

When at home, Azathoth enjoys gardening, the cinematic works of Woody Allen, and writhing unceasingly on its Throne of Nebulae to the thin, monotonous piping of demon-flutes, monster-tambourines and phantom-banjos, as other Ancient Ones slowly dance around, shaking their interdimensional booty in unspeakably lewd and multigalactic ways (Peterson, Sullivan, Wallis (et al), 1988).   There is now heated debate over whether it is the entire works of Woody Allen that this no-beast from beyond space/time appreciates, or just the more surreal early stand-up.

It is rumoured that perhaps this unending rave Beyond the Stars has some Cosmik Significance, and that, when the “lights” dim down low, the demon-piping slows, and the Ancient Ones begin dancing “cheek” to “cheek”, we’re really in trouble.  

Bastard Pop

One of the most recent ceremonies for accessing the Dark Notes and Forbidden Beats, this tool of the digital Recycling Age incorporates the Vocal Part from one “parent” song, and ceremonially combines these with the Instrumental Part from another “parent” piece of Mainstream pop. Bastard Pop creates pieces of “music” that slice through all the usual layers of subliminal Enochian-Sponsorship while still retaining all the Synaptic-Hooks of the original “parent” tunes...  

The InterWebMegaLink finds it worthy of further study.

BackMasking

Bethmoora

Bioflexography

In a lot of important respects, Bioflexography is closer to Lisdexiology than Mnemonic Flexography; yet, for just as compelling reasons, it still is more commonly grouped with the latter.  

(The Mystic) Black Fan

The Bloatery

A 400 kilogram, 3-metre-talll creature distantly resembling a rankly obese humyn femyle, with tentacles in place of arms and nose, five constantly-smoking cupid's-bow mouths made hideous by clusters of protruding fangs and several Winnie Blues, and dressed only in a pair of incredibly tight stretch-denim jeans, in the belt of which hang six small scythes and the mystic Black Fan.

(The) Book of Eibon

(The) Book of Enoch

Braaan

Chaugnar Faugn

Well-known for his (its?) tremendous proboscis, the being (beings?) whisperingly referred to as Chaugnar Faugn is one of the nu-skool Ancient Ones.  Although some have attributed the name to a fictional creation of Frank Belknap Long, we can ascertain that the creature (creation?) is indeed ‘real’; as well as being mentioned in the ‘Original Necronomicon’, the much-revered ‘Book of Eibon’, and the unspeakable ‘Unaussprechlichen Kulten’ of von Junzt, Chaugnar Faugn has also made cameo appearances in ‘Married with Children’, ‘Scarecrow and Mrs King’, and the little-known (cultish?) ‘I’m Boris Fnebstler’.

Compop

Cosmik Sex, Cosmik Drugs and Cosmik Rock’n’Roll

In the great tradition of inverting the false christian belief system to reveal the undogmatic “truth” beneath, “Sex, Drugs and Rock’n’Roll” is the unholy triumvirate of access to the ‘occult’, bypassing the need for tomes of Ancient Knowledge like the Necronomicon, the Satyricon, even the Plungericon.  With these three Cosmikally-approved “pathways”, one can not only access the Non-Ens beyond the Universe, but also the Muses trapped within (if not the Ancient Ones themselves).

Often lauded for their “evil” powers, the visceral appeal of the triumvirate is almost enough to validate their authenticity.  Add to this, then, that nearly every other animal we know of is attracted to Sex, Drugs and Music, and it becomes clear; it is Cosmik Sex, Cosmik Drugs and Cosmik Rock’n’Roll that fuel the universe.  There is nothing more natural than to want to put on some music, suck down a couple of pipes and get it on.  

The examples abound everywhere:  from the fact that “reptiles have protracted, colourful and violent sex with split penises rimmed with hooks and spines (the rattlesnake has sex for up to 22 hours)”, to the knowledge that “the inflatable dog penis” cannot be retracted until the erection subsides, and that “cats actually require painful sex to ovulate”, to the tragedy of the poor male Antechinus, who is so devoted to the act of love that it “roots itself to death.”  

Indeed, humyns are extremely cautious and sensible about their sexual acts compared to the rest of Nature.  So too with drugs.  We are “fairly mild drug-users compared to other animals... The evidence just keeps piling up.  It appears Queensland doggies are getting blasted on canetoads.”   Apparently, our waggly friends have discovered that “a gentle ‘mouthing’ can annoy the amphibious dealer just enough to release a quick canine high.  Now dogs are stumbling around, whacked off their tits, too trippin to eat, barking about how the universe is just one big Goodo”.

It’s not like dogs are the only ones doing it.

Those bearded junkies, goats, are “not only responsible for the discovery of coffee, black hellebore, and henbane, but are reknowned for their khat addictions”; cats love catnip so much that it causes “males to sprout instant erections and females to shift into the mounting position.”  Not convinced that drugs are Cosmikally natural?   “Wild bighorn sheep wear down their teeth to the gums trying to quench their taste for narcotic rock-bound lichen.  Koalas are only restricted to eucalypts because of addiction (if captured before they start nursing on the eucalypt-drenched milk of their mother, an infant koala can be raised on milk, bread and honey.)   Mules, horses, cattle, sheep, antelopes, pigs, rabbits, hens, bees, and grubs have all been discovered tripping out with locoweed.”   

And music?  There are copious sources of the Cosmik powers of music throughout the rest of this website, let alone the millions of others devoted to its powers.  Let alone the books, magazines and articles attesting to its grand and complex Force.  Let alone all the bands and musicians making it; are they not natural?

Not only do Cosmik Sex, Cosmik Drugs, and Cosmik Rock’n’Roll propell the universe, they are also damn good fun.

And isn’t that what existence is all about?

(Sources: ‘Filthy Reptiles Fuck for Hours; Harradine Not Impressed’, ‘Sex Mad Marsupial Dies for Love’, ‘Psychedelic Toad Menace Turns Staffords to Stoners: Full Report’, and ‘New Hope for Koala Junkies: Mothers Blamed for Addiction’, orignally printed in ‘the Plunge’,issues 1,2 and 3; now deleted.)

(The) Cryptogon

That “hidden structure underlying and interconnecting the political, economic and perception management systems currently in operation on this planet”; the very systems that our Politicians, Economists and Perception Systems Management Technicians refuse to admit exist.  Also known as the Swarm, the Octopus, the Normals, the Mainstream, the Brothers of the Stone Owl, the Normagon, the Babylonian Brotherhood, the Cryptostream, and the New World Order, the Cryptogon controls us all, if we let it...    

The Cryptogon may, or may not, be under the total or partial control of the Elohim, the Enochians, the ‘Angels’, and/or the ‘Greys’.  When asked about this particularly sensitive topic, many preternaturalists replied that it was immaterial who was ‘manning the machines’, because it is the Annunaki Space-Lizards from Beyond Time who are ‘running the shop’.  This may be true, or merely what the Elohim-Angel-Creatures want us to believe.

Only by analysing (and trying to resist) the Cryptogon can we ever truly ‘know’.

(The) Crystal Spheres

In the well-respected (though currently under challenge) Aristotelian view of the universe, the cosmos is a concentric series of perfect crystalline superstructures he called The Crystal Spheres.   As these enormous goldfish bowls spin in their predestined circular orbits, the planets, sun and/or moon they carry like some precious jewel embedded in an impossibly-high-class lazy susan, rotate around the earth with them.  The twelfth (and final) Crystal Sphere (as far as Aristotle was concerned) is known as the Prime Mover; it upon this mind-bogglingly-enormous Sphere that the Constellations are carved upon, moving in a slow orbit all its own.

Beyond this final crystalline superstructure lies the inadequately-described Non-Ens; the Shrieking Void of Unutterability; the Crawling Chaos Nyarlathotep; the No-Place where the No-Things dwell.  In this place (though it is not really “in”, nor is it a “place”; nor, strictly speaking, a “this”), the creatures remembered through Myth, Exaggeration and Nightmare alone dwell, waiting in trance-like slumber, semi-plotting and quasi-scheming their return to the Universe, and to Existence itself.  Whether they plan to seize power of the universe, or just demolish the whole thing to build some nice apartments, we shall never know... until it is too late.

The Crystal Spheres are flawless, make no normally-audible sound, and give off no unpleasant odour.  Modern research indicates that perhaps the Crystal Spheres themselves may “woven” from some sort of “superstring”, and that the crystal may be permeable.  

Cthulhu

The less that is known about Cthulhu, the better.  To merely imagine Cthulhu correctly is to die a million deaths; indeed, just that warning in itself may be too much information.  

Stop your mind now.

Culture-Aura

Cultural Convergence

Cultural-Management-Assassins

Dagon

Another of the feared/revered alien/extradimensional/ hyperubiquitous Ancient Ones trapped/sleeping in the Non Ens and, in some unexplainable way, subtly influencing you right now just because you are reading this, Dagon is sometimes referred to as a ‘fish-god’.   Dagon is not particularly offended by this, not that it matters; Dagon is one bad scaly mother fucker.  He doesn’t really need to be offended by someone to still go ahead and decide to obliterate their entire solar system.  

Dagon snorts supernovae.

“Vast, Polyphemus-like, and loathsome, it darted like a stupendous monster of nightmares to the monolith, about which it flung its gigantic scaly arms, the while it bowed its hideous head and gave vent to certain measured sounds...

 ...the ancient Philistine legend of Dagon, the Fish-God”

H.P.Lovecraft

Dagon is mentioned in the Christian Bible on several occasions (Judges 16:23, I Samuel 5:2-7, and I Chronicles 10:10), although the reasons why are far from clear.

(The) Dark Films and Forbidden Footage

(The) Dark Notes and Forbidden Beats

(The) Dark Pharoah

One of Nyarlathotep’s earthly disguises, this apparition is an Egyptian-looking humyn of slight build and height, often seen in modern garb, driving a BMW and listening to nothing but Kylie Minogue.

Dictionaraoke

“The fun of karaoke meets the word power of the dictionary”... can there be more to say?  For fuck’s sake, use your imagination.

Deprogrammers

Disturbient

Music that’s kind of like ‘ambient’ music, but instead of being relaxing, thought-provoking or chilled, makes one extremely uncomfortable, either mentally or physically.  

The audio equivalent of the horror movie.

Doppelmenscher

Also known as Doppelmenschener, DubbelMensch, DubbelManiken, DuoMorphiken, DoppelMortis, Dubbelmuerte, Dopl’An-Nigguruh and the rather misleading ‘Men with Heads’, the Doppelmenscher were probably the main reason that Aflexicon-Mnemonism is still so misunderstood.  Discovered and lost again in the heyday of the Roman Empire, they were a complete mystery until the early 1800’s, when they were rediscovered using the still-new science of Yahwehcology, coupled with the equally-new and still-extremely-primitive Bioflexography.

Once discovered, it wasn’t long before the Doppelmenscher had gone and done precisely what it was feared they would do back in the days of the Roman Empire, and Aflexicon-Mnemonism still has not fully recovered, nor has it regained its once-respected status.