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A Brief Cosmological Overview

Okay. Maybe we haven't made it all entirely clear yet, or perhaps you just aren't listening. But, as the fate of the planet Earth may depend upon you understanding it all, we've decided to go through it all one more time, slowly and loudly.

You are Wrong

The Greys. John Lennon. The Ancient No-Things from Beyond. David Bowie. The first thing that you need to do is clear your mind of everything you ever previously "knew". All dichotomies (good/bad, right/wrong) are wrong. There are no "sides" here; the entire Cosmos is constructed out of shades of grey. Everything is relative and, as the Beastie Boys once instructed us, "one man's ceiling is another man's floor". Dichotomies only serve to mislead, obscure, obfuscate and nyargobolise.

So, to say that the Enochian-Grey "Angels" are "bad" and that the Ancient Ones from the Realms That Should Not Be are "good" is to misunderstand entirely.

That is not to say that the Enochian-Angel-Greys aren't "challenging". True, they have taken covert control of our planet's media, drugs, religions, academy, militia, air, entertainment, resources and meme pool; true, they do derive immense pleasure from the ritual slaying of cattle and humyn children; and, true, they do hold the entire humyn race in unimaginable contempt. However, it does not follow that they are "bad". They are, to a degree, "just following orders".

From whom? The Enochian-Angel-Greys have been immortalised in the Epic of Gilgamesh, the Bible, and the statues of Easter Island; what kind of monstrosity could overpower these elegant galactic superbeings?

The answer is obvious enough: interstellar reptiles from the lower fourth dimension. Compared to these demoniac Space-Lizards, the Enochian-Greys are merely harmless bullies throwing pebbles at old Mr Humanity's glasshouse.


These dimension-hopping Space-Lizards (from Beyond the Universe) are known by many names, but the most common seems to be 'the Annunaki', or 'Anakim'. If the Greys are cattle-mutilators, the Annunaki mutilate Tyrannosaurs. If the Greys abduct people and pull their ovaries out through their nostrils, the Annunaki abduct people, apply them with extraterrestrial chemicals and treatments to force their bodies to grow all sorts new internal organs, and then rip them out through their nostrils.

The Greys invented 'Diff'rent Strokes'; the Annunaki invented 'Webster'.

Feasting on Humyn Blood

So, what do the Annunaki Space-Lizards want? Why Earth? Why use the Greys? What can we do about it?

The Annunaki want control of everything. They want it all timetabled, precisely-measured, mass-produced, identical, clinical, rational, with streamlined edges and a flip-top lid. They are addicted to order, repetition, ritual, and ceremony; they dream of infinite parallel straight lines.

They also (and this is where we humyns come in) want blood, and lots of it; they feed on the vibrational energy of Pain and Fear. Humyns (and many other creatures found on Earth) contain quite a lot of blood, and most of it is warm and gushy; just the way the Interdimensional Dinosaurs from Outer Time like it.

They orchestrate wars to spill the blood of millions in the most orderly fashion they can; they sink stock markets just to revel in the vibrational feast of pure Anguish.

The Annunaki killed Phar Lap.

A Slave-Race

According to some Primohystoric researchers, the Annunaki tinkered with the hominid gene pool several millenia ago (perhaps breeding our ancestors with Enochian-Greys), creating a slave-race which could mine their monatomic gold, plant and pick their cotton, wash their star-cruisers, and breed them ongoing supplies for their endless Blood Sacrifices.

These early GM hominid/enochian slave-creatures became us - homo sapiens sapiens. If the Annunaki Dimension-Lizards have their way, we will remain their slaves forever, never understanding their Agenda, never realising we are trapped in a Cage of the Mind - and never breaking free, cutting their cold-blooded scaly throats and flying their spaceships into the wild blue yonder.

The Space-Reptiles don't want anything to change; change of any sort is one of the things they hate. The Annunaki specialise in ritual, tradition, conservativity. Rigidity, peer pressure, conformity, media pressure, social norms, trends and "free" trade agreements; these are the mark of the Lizards from Beyond Space.

We're Fucked Then

"Well," you might say, "We're fucked then. If the Greys are in control of our minds, culture, children and economics, and if the Annunaki are controlling the Greys, then we're simply fucked. How can I fight one intergalactic enemy, let alone two? I'm going to look at that celebrity porn site I was meaning to look at in the first place. You guys suck."

Oh, ye of little faith.

You still haven't heard about David Bowie, the Elephant Man, or the Six Extra Chakras yet. See, this is where things begin to become complicated. Because, although the Annunaki Space-Lizards are truly, ruly, magnificently Ancient, they are brand-spanking new compared to the Ancient Ones themselves. For the No-Things that Semi-Lurk Beyond the Veil of Sleep were Ancient when the Space-Lizards were still pre-evolving Space-Matter; the Ancient Ones ruled everything long before the Annunaki even began thinking about multidimensional conquest themselves. The Ancient Ones controlled the Universe before the Lizards took over - and, quite frankly, they want it back.

They Will Return

As much as the Space-Lizards love rigid ritual, the Ancient Ones despise it. As much as the Interdimensional Dragon-Beasts love Rule and Law, the Thrashing Anti-Malevolent No-Things detest it. As much as the Magic Dragons from Outer Time love tradition, structure and predictability, the Ones that Should Not Be loathe it. And it is this "fact" that may just save us all.

The Lizards (controlling humyns) create Britney Spears; the Ancient Ones (controlling humyns) create Bastard Pop, and stick her vocals over AC/DC. The Lizards create Christianity, Islam, Jewishness, Catholicism; the Ancient Ones create the Ordo Templis Orientis, the Church of the SubGenius, the Branch Davidians and the Life of Brian. The Lizards create "democracy" and "dictatorships"; the Ancient Ones empower specific unlikely individuals. If the Lizards represent DNA, Pop and Irish Jokes, the Ancient Ones represent Mutation, Novelty, and the Punchline That Most People Don't Get.

The War has been raging for century upon century, Ancient Ones versus Annunaki, Chaos versus Order. So far, it does appear that the Annunaki are winning, and by quite a lot. To tell the truth, they are giving the Ancient Ones an absolute thrashing.

But there's a catch, which may cheer you up a little:

The Ancient Ones are still asleep.

Death, Mayhem, Blood - and Fun!

But soon, very soon, they will awaken.

Part of the Interwebmegalink's mission, it would seem, is to prepare the way for their awakening; to "clean up the mess", maybe "buy" some "flowers" to "brighten the place up a bit". The Ancient Ones are Humynity's only chance against the Annunaki Magic Dragons from the Lower Fourth Dimension; we'd better welcome them as generously as we can.

This is not to say that the Ancient Ones are "good". They are some of the most synapse-snapping filth-gods of grotesqueness imaginable to the humyn mind; many can cause permanent psychosis just upon sniffing one of their True Names written on a piece of paper. They love death, mayhem and blood as much as the most gore-hungry interdimensional Quasi-Reptile. They, of course, desire Total Intergalactic Control as well, and do not care who or what is utterly obliterated in the process. Indeed, it may end up that the Ancient Ones just want to blow up the Universe, rather than the predictable option of merely controlling it. They're like that. Whatever the outcome, it is up to us to decide what kind of world we'd rather live in, and take that risk.

In a Reptilian world, everything would run on time; in a world run by the Ancient Ones, every clock would be numbered differently, go in different directions, and move at different speeds. The Reptilians demand regular blood-rituals and constant ceremonial magick; the No-Things prefer new, innovative sacrifices, and creative, never-to-be-repeated ceremonies. Both entities love death and torment and disaster and the unjust trauma of the innocent; it's just that the Ancient Ones at least keep things interesting.

The Final Heading in the Article

The Interwebmegalink has chosen which path we would prefer, and, luckily for our species, it also so happens to be the path that is best for the entire Humyn Race. In order to evolve, we need to depose the Hyperdimensional Magic Dragons. We need to make sure the Ancient Ones have the upper hand. The Interwebmegalink is busy "putting the kettle on" to make the Ancient Ones a "nice cup of tea" when they awaken, return to our universe and start Fucking Shit Up. We are putting up the "streamers" and "blowing up the balloons" for the immense "surprise party" that will be held across the entire universe when the Ancient Ones return from "where they've been".

Are you ready? The time for putting on your "party hat" is now.

interwebmegalink entry, march 2004