article recycling archive
(The) Magnum Innominandum
The former Beatle, Paul McCartney, was rumoured to have been killed in a car crash in Africa in June of 1966.
This, of course, is preposterous.
Paul McCartney was slain in a Voodoo Sacrifice by the remaining Beatles and possessed by an Undead Space Zombie Demon Vampire from Beyond the Galaxy in Africa in June of 1966. As well as being a lot more coherent than the ‘car crash’ story, it explains so many other events and anecdotes that otherwise have no meaning.
However, some people claim that Paul McCartney is still alive: ‘hang on, didn’t he just release a new album?’ Do not be fooled: Paul is dead.
It is “Paul” who lives now.
An extraterrestrial ghoul, summoned through Voodoo, cajoled with Forbidden Beats, born through Sacrifice, and triumphing in Audiomancy, the creature known as “McCartney” immediately started backmasking alien material into the Beatles’ works at a horrifying rate; there are so many backmasked passages in the Alien Codex that we are barely 12% through decoding them all.
When it comes to “McCartney”, we may be just managing to keep afloat in the Pool of Truth, but we are not sure for how much longer; already, we are trying to adjust our Speedos of Inquiry, keep our Swimming Cap of Determination firmly on our head, and simultaneously avoid the Spreading Urine Stain of Lies and Propaganda.
Also known as the Cryptogon, the Swarm, the Nest, the Pinks, the Megagon, the Octopus, the CryptoCon, the Normals, the Mainstream, the MegaPus, the CryptoSwarm, the Bohemian Illuminati, the Brothers of the Stone Owl, the Enochian Control Web, the Normagon, the Pinkapus, the Cryptostream, and the New World Order, the MegaCon is short for the Universal MegaConspiracy. It refers to all the hidden little contrivances, traditions and restrictions that are employed to try to keep you poor, miserable, desperate for “something else”, and watching American sitcoms every night. It refers to the clandestine power structures that are slowly turning this world (and several others) into one enormous brand-name hypermarket, fuelling its low low prices with the sacrificial blood of the weak.
The MegaCon may or may not be directly influenced by extra-dimensional beings known as the ‘Enochian-Greys’.
They are not what they claim to be.
It is probably more appropriate that, instead of giving you yet another long-winded description of Mnemonic-Flexography, we merely insist that you read the entries for the Doppelmenscher and Yahwehcology. You’ll understand why when you read them; perhaps you already know.
(The) Mutton Dressed as Lamb
(The Original) Necronomicon
The inspiration and reference tome for much of H.P.Lovecraft’s preternatural research, the Original Necronomicon predates the Alhazred version of the same book by several centuries, and contains several passages (and a bonus centrefold) omitted from any subsequent version. As well known as the Alhazred translation is (some insist that it is the only version), we here at the InterWebMegaLink feel that nothing beats the Original.
Written in Enochian Runes (the stylised language of angels), the Original Necronomicon contains detailed references to both the Dark Notes (and Forbidden Beats) and the Dark Films (and Forbidden Footage), as well as dangerously-precise advice on summoning, controlling, repelling, and how to cater for, the Ancient Ones themselves. So powerful a volume is the Original Necronomicon that it is rumoured to contain the entire Guitar and Plunger Studios catalogue, including bands that don’t yet exist.
Was it written by Enochians? Or merely translated by note-taking Enochians, hurriedly jotting down merely what Older, stranger “creatures” were dictating? In what circumstances were these ‘notes’ being ‘jotted down’? A crashing space-craft? A rogue planet, careering out of control? A series of profound visions that needed to be written down fast? Or a board-meeting of interstellar Forces Beyond Time, planning how they should attempt this ‘Creating the Universe’ project?
(Or maybe, just maybe, it is a book from so far in the future that it hasn’t even been written yet, sent back in time to destroy us...
Or to save us.)
One of the cryptic Great Ones, Nath-Horthath appears as a black-skinned female humyn with blond hair, pupilless silver eyes, at least one lion, and the entire works of Bobby McFerrin. She is the Goddess of Quite Interesting African-Inspired Acapella Music, and also, to a lesser extent, the Patron Saint of Grace Jones’s Public Relations Department, the Mother of All Hangovers, and the Lesser Animal Guide of People With Attitudes.
Nath-Horthath denies that she has anything to do with the Ancient Ones, or the Enochian-Angel-Greys, but we all know that is simply not true.
(The) Non Ens
In the Aristotelian view of the universe (now being called into question by recent research), the cosmos is composed of a series of perfect crystalline superstructures he called The Crystal Spheres; it on each of these that the planets, moon and sun is mounted, and it is on each of these that they orbit the earth (the undisputed centre of the humyn Universe). The furthest Crystal Sphere from us is the Prime Mover, upon which all the millions of pinprick’d Stars and swirling Nebulae are lovingly “painted”.
Beyond this, is the Non Ens.
A realm so far away from existence that it almost exists again, the Non Ens is accessible only in Dream, Drug-state, Sexual Ecstasy, or Musical Trance (or if one “knows how”). The Non Ens is that part of the Multiverse that does not age, does not expand, and does not “exist”, even theoretically. It is the “Void”, the “Total Chaos of Unimaginable Nothingness” that “anti-lurks” beyond the veil of “Reality”. It is here that the Ancient Ones “dwell”, and from “where” they “plan” their long-awaited “comeback tour”.
The Non Ens is often (though somewhat naively) represented by the number 13.
Sometimes referred to as ‘the Crawling Chaos’, sometimes mistaken for the Absuu, and sometimes pinning you to the ground with six thousand greasy tentacles and devouring your soft tissue in one horrednous suck, Nyarlathotep is one of the easiest of the Ancient Ones to get on with. Generous, witty, fluent in 2160 languages (dead, current, and yet to be), and always punctual, Nyarlathotep is always a hit at preternaturalist parties, and is both the “mind” and “spirit” of the Outer Gods.
While many of the Ancient Ones can only destroy, Nyarlathotep can amuse, titillate, entertain, sing, dance, perform ventriloquism, and destroy. It is no wonder, then, that so many preternaturalist parties are remembered for their fine atmosphere, their stylish entertainment, and their grotesque and bloody slayings.
Nyarlathotep uses different shapes for different purposes. It has a human-like form for dealings with humans, a form that many have likened to Bert Newton. Other even more ghastly forms include: ‘the Dark Pharoah’, ‘the Tasmanian Rapper’, ‘the Howler in Darkness’, ‘the Haunter of the Dark’, ‘the Mutton Dressed as Lamb’, and ‘the Horrendous Bloatery’.
Nyarlathotep is often with Azathoth, sparking the rumour that perhaps it is Nyarlathotep that is the Woody Allen fan, and that Azathoth is merely using Nyarlathotep for its entertaining ways and pleasant demeanor.
This, as plausible as it seems, is nothing more than hearsay.
“For madness[,] the void's wild vengeance, [and a lovely time for the entire family,] are Nyarlathotep's only gifts to the presumptuous..."
Profound, but memetically-traceable to earlier, just-as-profound ideas, and so not really that profound after all.
Or is it? Perhaps, through being so memetically-precise, it is even more profound; ‘prefundity’, then, is ‘profundity’ with hystorical integrity, transparency, and acute self-awareness.
A mysticism for people who know already.
Stands for Psychological Operations, the deployment of various high-grade “truths” to counter-balance the onslaught of “facts” we receive from the Mainstream. Covering the utilisation of anything from “utter bullshit” to “objective truth”, the PsyOps department of the InterWebMegaLink attempts to tear the reigns of Power from the Enochian-Angel-creatures (and their Corporate Clones), and deliver them to the crazed, the marginalised, the ranters, the disillusioned, and the “crackpot”. With our own Psychological Operations in play, there is a chance, however slim, that when the prophesied intergalactic meme comes hurtling down to earth and begins infecting our synapses, there is some sort of alternative hystory with which to preserve our brains.